Sunday, January 8, 2017

Breastfeeding woows

Breastfeeding a journey that seems so straight forward and is not! I was planning on breastfeeding as I read all the facts, smarter baby, better gut health etc. Also, everywhere you look online or speak to other moms you see and hear breast is best. I must say we know breast is best but when you cant breastfeed and this phrase keeps showing up you feel like your letting your baby down.
I felt there was something wrong with me. I felt inadequate. I had so many emotions racing through my body.

 My story began by giving birth to a healthy 6.5 lb baby girl. She had the blackest hair and the tiniest body. My midwives helped me with breastfeeding for an hour showing me different holds. I felt high off life just given birth and feeding my baby. After, giving birth I went home that evening with amazing family support. I woke up every 2 hours to feed her, so I was exhausted. After, a few days my breast were endorsed, my nipples were red and scabbed. Every time I breastfed my body tensed up do to the pain. I called my midwife on the fourth day because my babies behavior had change she was crying non stop, it pulled at my heart strings to hear cries. I was in pain and miserable. At our one week appointment I found out that she was losing weight and my midwife said I can see she is very hungry. She helped me hand express milk and assisted me with different holding positions. I expressed my worry about my breast not providing enough, so she scheduled an appointment with a lactation consultant. I must say, best thing a first mom or a mom with breastfeeding concerns can ever do. So, at this appointment I found out that my daughter had a slight tongue tie which prevents her from getting a good latch to extract the milk and also caused me pain. She suggested the nipple shield and taught me how to use it. I left feeling reassured and judged myself less.

I must say during this emotional time I was doing everything I could to increase my milk production. Lactation shakes and cookies, oatmeal, fenugreek, moringa, mothers milk. I even read where drinking Guinness helped increase your supply. Even all these attempts I still wasn't making enough to satisfy my daughter and I must say that it tore at my heart. I cried alot and it took me some time and support from my circle of people to come to terms with I wasn't going to be able to solely breastfeed.

I wanted to share my story because I had great support but still it was an emotional roller coaster.

Phrases that helped:

Realize your doing the best you can for your child. 

Know that by giving her a bottle your able to fill her stomach and still hold her and look into her eyes. 

There is nothing wrong with feeding a baby a bottle you still are spending time bonding with her. 

 Your a great mom who is taking every step to ensure your child is healthy and happy. 

As first time moms we need to realize our body just under went this amazing journey. We grew a baby and gave life to this little human. We need to let go of comparing ourselves to other moms and know that the love for our child runs deep. We are doing the best we can to help in the growth and development of our child's life. So, slowdown and take in the time you are holding your baby because your doing an amazing job!  


Saturday, December 3, 2016

My Birth Story

Wow, time has flown by and I wanted to share my birth story before it leaves my brain. So, I awoke to just another chilly, rainy fall day. My sister was visiting so we went for our morning hike. During the hike I was feeling so minor pains at 10 am and they seemed to stop. Later in the day I was still having very light pains so I took a bath to relax. I must say this is my first baby and I was in my 40th week.

Fast forward to 5:45pm and I was really feeling the contractions animal sounds and laying in frog pose. My sister was a life saver calling the midwife updating her on my progress. We finally left close to 6pm and of all days traffic was horrible and the rain was pelting down. The midwifery clinic was 30 minutes away. My water broke in the car which made me nervous and I got louder. I was pushing in the car and we pulled up to the door and she started crowning as I walked down the stairs. My midwife had to place her hand between my legs. I almost didn't make it to the bed and she was born!

The overall experience was amazing and still hard to believe.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Why am I starting a blog

My motivation:

My motivation for starting this blog is to write down my experience as well as connect with other woman that are going through or have been through this. Sharing and connecting with other woman is a must and a way to empower each other to be ourselves whatever that looks like.

My story:

This pregnancy has made me face my fears, nurture myself and slowdown. In the beginning I was taking a passive stance in my decisions with this pregnancy. Then it hit me that this is my journey and I need to do what works for me and no one else. So, I chose a midwife which has empowered me to  trust my body and slowdown to enjoy the amazing changes my body is undergoing. So, as I sit and write this I am 8 months pregnant and have 5 weeks to go!!

My feminine reclaiming: 

I think as woman we are told and shown that there are certain ways to be beautiful. These ways are confined in a narrow box. We forget that a woman's body is a vessel of endless beauty and cannot fit into a box. This is a concept I have recently embraced through my pregnancy, birth books and prenatal yoga. As, Ina May Gaskin says in her Birth Matters book: Pregnancy is an awakening to our feminine energy. I believe this to be true as our bodies transform physically and our minds emotionally there is a shift that happened for me which made me see the beauty in what the feminine body and mind can do. We underestimate our power and voice so I am here to reclaim mine.

So, as I embark on this journey of blogging and birth I invite you to share your stories or thoughts.